Perhaps.. One Day!
Yes...I have seriously been wondering about the ways and concepts of how we behave...when I say we I mean women of color. We are indulgent, messy, unhappy and willing to do anything for a Man including sell our souls. Yes, I cant believe where I am now in my life... oh and I promise, if someone had told me even six months ago or a week ago, I would be this sullen little girl crying over spilled milk... I would have dropped kicked them in the head then called the police myself. For real, I could really give two fucks about the individuals involved just the fact that liars and thieves are becoming very clever in this season. therefore new tactics are appearing real when they are really FALSE. the Enemy knows the KINGDOM ways so he can easily imitate, but the test comes in when the enemy is unable to try a spirit by the spirit...So Ladies when you meet a man speaking KINGDOM, "you have to speak those things that are not as though they were" or "you have no faith" or "patience is needed in order to do this or that" I know I heard it too and it sends chills through your heart to root... have you tingling and stuff, I know. But let me share this...when it comes to testing if that person trully believes in what he/she is actually speaking and the KINGDOM they are fighting for... let a test come up. When trials come up those Men that are REAL will find a way to pull you and them out. Not physically, but more spiritually, mentally. Real women also...will remain hopeful even though she is internally sinking into a pit. However, the Real Men know that by them staying focused and positive, those actions reassures the women...thats what a women means when she says she needs security/ protection from a Man. Aint no real women expecting her man to be out there trying to fight nobody without her having his back. (FYI: Just in case I got some hoods(your mental is not where I am) reading this... Women if you are expecting your man to fight for you please be willing to throw some bows with him...If you are not willing to crack heads right along with your man...He is not your man leave him alone.. Understand me!)
Men in case you haven't figured this out yet.. We (women) Worry about everything. i.e. what is going on in the world, did I remember to put the baby's book back into his satchel, If I pay all of this bill this week, how will I cover gas and food until the next pay period without dipping into my savings? It's who we are... it's apart of our DNA.
Yes, some men have met women who dont show any of those characteristics Ive spoken of, and i feel some sad for you if you had one of that other women. Some women mothers taught them how to be WHORES while other women mothers taught them how to be LADIES, sad but true.
Historically for my generation the men have been attracted to the WHORES, they Wife the WHORE first thinking she was a lady. See the Whore was taught to go to church every Sunday, if you in the streets doing your do make sure you go to church and God will forgive you. Error number one. She the whores mother taught her to go to church, so the man thought he was getting a GODLY Woman when he simply was getting a woman of GOD, there is a difference. (Subscribe you find out alot of neat things) So he Wife her, thinking she'd know to cover him when her family began talking down to him, figured she know how to cover the house when he quit his job and wanted to step out his dreams, figured she'd understand that sometimes a man just doesnt want to have sex due to certain circumstances( i.e. if his money aint right, he is just not in the mood sometimes, if he feels like he is not able to cover his dominion) But no the whore is going to go and fool around with another man. take her check and make the make feel like crap because she does have dreams of her own she was just taught to go to church because a man wants to marry a women that goes to church...HA FOOL! See what the mother of the whore didnt know that while she was teaching her daughter to go to church the lady's mother was teaching her RELATIONSHIP...see the lady was being made to read proverbs and psalms as a punishment for calling a women inside the church building a HYPOCRITE. see the lady was outside chasing butterfly's and getting dirty before charm class started, see the lady was sitting in the back of the church pew with the ugly ruffle dress on because her mother wanted her to be pretty and girly like the other girls in church when she knew that the spirit that dwell inside had no serious concerns about the outside...it was most impress with the respect the lady showed when an adult spoke to her, or how she respected herself. See the lady knows that she needs a man, she knows that every woman needs a man and every man needs a women the difference is the Lady is not going to stop chasing her dreams to chase a man. the Lady knows that the man is apart of her dreams he is not the whole dream, he a very important element within the dream that completes the vision and she is honest patient enough to wait. the Lady will have a few miscallenaous faults along the way they are merely learning tools for the big test....the ONE! Yes, I do believe that there is ONE person for everybody and I do believe that sometimes especially in this day and age you will have to rummage through the debri in order to get to that one that you are willing to go back and forth with until you find a happy compromise. Having said all of that it simply brings me back to the point that most men today have already been married once or twice and each time it was probably to a WHORE that had no clue of how to be the balance in a relationship the support system, she just didnt. So Men, it is not my fault you made shitty choices in women...thats your fault. Its' not my fault you went with the women that look good, talk a great game, have the right creditials, hung out with the right crowd, oh y'all mothers are SORORS...with everything on your checklist checked off how did that work out for you? What's so interesting is that men are more bitter than women and hold to what the whore did to you even with the Universe sends you a Lady. But what do you do, you make the lady feel like she is inexperienced, you want her to go fuck paul, simon and peter, then come suck you off like Ericks did, or play pretend like Margo did, or roll it like the one you just broke up with did, or invite a friend to bed like Lacy did...you NINJAS are bold. but whats worse is that you dont even know you were fooling with a Whore. Ladies dont invite their friends to bed with their men because, ladies know once you do that you are essencially saying its okay if you have two girlfriends and we not having that crap. No the lady does not want to suck you off like erica, play pretend like margo or roll it like you ex; the lady wants you to be man enough to expect to unexpected and know that a LADY please as she please...It may have remnants of what you've experience but it will not be the same experience your feel it, it will linger, you will like so much that it becomes a desire. So, no the lady does want to play the role of a Whore, we'll let the whores have that.
Men you want us to do all of that but you can't even compose a complete sentence within your communication. We desire understanding and trust but of the only answer you have for "How are you feeling?" is fine. then we (women) are in serious trouble. For the record, MEN, "Fine" is not a conditions, its not an emotion, I want to know if you had hesitations when I asked that question, I want to know if you thought about pimp slapping the hell out somebody...I want to know how you're dealing with the project you're working on. I want to know if I need to send a friend to distract the competition, that is what I am asking! What have we done to the men in the world ladies...I am struggling here. I feel as if I am fighting a losing battle against myself...we sitting back letting our men have sex with two and three women and women done started do that same thing... What the PHUCK for? why would you want the energy of a person that you dont even know?
We so smart and we know everything... Did you know that everytime you sleep with a person, part of their essence becomes apart of yours, vice versa? Did you also know women, when you become pregnant whether you have the baby or not, a part of that mans DNA is in you for life... See when you slept with Mark he may have been your first but you wasnt his...Mark had already been with three people and each of those people had been with three people so when you laid down for your first time you werent just laying down with Mark you were laying down with Mark and 12 other people plus the people they slept with and so on and so on. Yes, its a cycle and that cycle may actually be the way we all become one again but what it that is not the way and you are connecting with spirits that you were never suppose to find what then? I dont know but I am in the process of working out the points of that thought process... come back Ill have an answer soon.
However, I am sure you are trying to find out how we got here...I'll tell you. I am always trying to be apart of some type of research and honestly I try to keep my life an open book. I write dont really talk can't trust family and friends with your life because they have not embrace the trues of Life, which is loving with conditions...AGAPE. That unconditional love thang is serious, it does not mean that you have to talk, like or hang around everybody it just simple means to have an understanding of why they do what they do and love that. But anyhoo, After forgetting that I agree to participate in this Womens study group for a local college here in town... These young ladies are talking to women that are 15 yrs older than they are to understand that common mistakes and errors most women make at there age. these young ladies, I learned after completing the survey of very intrusive questions, I found out in the end are trying to avoid being thirty-six year old, single mothers, that have never been married. (no jokes, I felt a hint of crap'ola, I did and its really hard to make me feel bad about self because of all the hardships Ive overcome just the be alive and smiling) They are trying to find a common thread of errors to avoid so that they don't end up like me. Yeah, what a kick in the face, I was put on the spot... having to comfort the things that I did, wanted to do, never got a chance to do, grieved and accept the things that may never happen for me. In all that I found that my Life mantra has been in my DNA all this time and even though I wasnt verbalizing it in the past as I am now its always been true for me..."what works for you may not work for me" How do we find out what works for us? I have had some of the best relationships, each one has taught me something, each one has allowed me to grow, and eventually each individual overstood that Im not like the rest, am trully unique. I remember a friend telling me while we were in the relationship that, "I would one day have to let someone love me" as if I hadnt been up until that point. What I learned was that, he was telling me I was unconditonal with my love but when it came to him being unconditional with his love I wasnt having it...I wanted people to love me the way that I love them and that is not that way that it works. A lesson learned, now I sit back and let people figure out my love language even though I have the hardest to figure out. So most people are surprised because they think I'm a KIM K when trully I'm a Jackie O.
Perhaps, One day my visions will come together and I'll be able to see the big picture as it was given. Until then, I'll continue getting on the entrance ramp doing 60, switching lanes doing 75, bending those curves doing 90 until the ONE that didnt get car sick is still sitting in the passenger seat when I pull over to let him drive...In the meantime, remember you can't get on the highway doing 45 and the speed limit is 70!
Men in case you haven't figured this out yet.. We (women) Worry about everything. i.e. what is going on in the world, did I remember to put the baby's book back into his satchel, If I pay all of this bill this week, how will I cover gas and food until the next pay period without dipping into my savings? It's who we are... it's apart of our DNA.
Yes, some men have met women who dont show any of those characteristics Ive spoken of, and i feel some sad for you if you had one of that other women. Some women mothers taught them how to be WHORES while other women mothers taught them how to be LADIES, sad but true.
Historically for my generation the men have been attracted to the WHORES, they Wife the WHORE first thinking she was a lady. See the Whore was taught to go to church every Sunday, if you in the streets doing your do make sure you go to church and God will forgive you. Error number one. She the whores mother taught her to go to church, so the man thought he was getting a GODLY Woman when he simply was getting a woman of GOD, there is a difference. (Subscribe you find out alot of neat things) So he Wife her, thinking she'd know to cover him when her family began talking down to him, figured she know how to cover the house when he quit his job and wanted to step out his dreams, figured she'd understand that sometimes a man just doesnt want to have sex due to certain circumstances( i.e. if his money aint right, he is just not in the mood sometimes, if he feels like he is not able to cover his dominion) But no the whore is going to go and fool around with another man. take her check and make the make feel like crap because she does have dreams of her own she was just taught to go to church because a man wants to marry a women that goes to church...HA FOOL! See what the mother of the whore didnt know that while she was teaching her daughter to go to church the lady's mother was teaching her RELATIONSHIP...see the lady was being made to read proverbs and psalms as a punishment for calling a women inside the church building a HYPOCRITE. see the lady was outside chasing butterfly's and getting dirty before charm class started, see the lady was sitting in the back of the church pew with the ugly ruffle dress on because her mother wanted her to be pretty and girly like the other girls in church when she knew that the spirit that dwell inside had no serious concerns about the outside...it was most impress with the respect the lady showed when an adult spoke to her, or how she respected herself. See the lady knows that she needs a man, she knows that every woman needs a man and every man needs a women the difference is the Lady is not going to stop chasing her dreams to chase a man. the Lady knows that the man is apart of her dreams he is not the whole dream, he a very important element within the dream that completes the vision and she is honest patient enough to wait. the Lady will have a few miscallenaous faults along the way they are merely learning tools for the big test....the ONE! Yes, I do believe that there is ONE person for everybody and I do believe that sometimes especially in this day and age you will have to rummage through the debri in order to get to that one that you are willing to go back and forth with until you find a happy compromise. Having said all of that it simply brings me back to the point that most men today have already been married once or twice and each time it was probably to a WHORE that had no clue of how to be the balance in a relationship the support system, she just didnt. So Men, it is not my fault you made shitty choices in women...thats your fault. Its' not my fault you went with the women that look good, talk a great game, have the right creditials, hung out with the right crowd, oh y'all mothers are SORORS...with everything on your checklist checked off how did that work out for you? What's so interesting is that men are more bitter than women and hold to what the whore did to you even with the Universe sends you a Lady. But what do you do, you make the lady feel like she is inexperienced, you want her to go fuck paul, simon and peter, then come suck you off like Ericks did, or play pretend like Margo did, or roll it like the one you just broke up with did, or invite a friend to bed like Lacy did...you NINJAS are bold. but whats worse is that you dont even know you were fooling with a Whore. Ladies dont invite their friends to bed with their men because, ladies know once you do that you are essencially saying its okay if you have two girlfriends and we not having that crap. No the lady does not want to suck you off like erica, play pretend like margo or roll it like you ex; the lady wants you to be man enough to expect to unexpected and know that a LADY please as she please...It may have remnants of what you've experience but it will not be the same experience your feel it, it will linger, you will like so much that it becomes a desire. So, no the lady does want to play the role of a Whore, we'll let the whores have that.
Men you want us to do all of that but you can't even compose a complete sentence within your communication. We desire understanding and trust but of the only answer you have for "How are you feeling?" is fine. then we (women) are in serious trouble. For the record, MEN, "Fine" is not a conditions, its not an emotion, I want to know if you had hesitations when I asked that question, I want to know if you thought about pimp slapping the hell out somebody...I want to know how you're dealing with the project you're working on. I want to know if I need to send a friend to distract the competition, that is what I am asking! What have we done to the men in the world ladies...I am struggling here. I feel as if I am fighting a losing battle against myself...we sitting back letting our men have sex with two and three women and women done started do that same thing... What the PHUCK for? why would you want the energy of a person that you dont even know?
We so smart and we know everything... Did you know that everytime you sleep with a person, part of their essence becomes apart of yours, vice versa? Did you also know women, when you become pregnant whether you have the baby or not, a part of that mans DNA is in you for life... See when you slept with Mark he may have been your first but you wasnt his...Mark had already been with three people and each of those people had been with three people so when you laid down for your first time you werent just laying down with Mark you were laying down with Mark and 12 other people plus the people they slept with and so on and so on. Yes, its a cycle and that cycle may actually be the way we all become one again but what it that is not the way and you are connecting with spirits that you were never suppose to find what then? I dont know but I am in the process of working out the points of that thought process... come back Ill have an answer soon.
However, I am sure you are trying to find out how we got here...I'll tell you. I am always trying to be apart of some type of research and honestly I try to keep my life an open book. I write dont really talk can't trust family and friends with your life because they have not embrace the trues of Life, which is loving with conditions...AGAPE. That unconditional love thang is serious, it does not mean that you have to talk, like or hang around everybody it just simple means to have an understanding of why they do what they do and love that. But anyhoo, After forgetting that I agree to participate in this Womens study group for a local college here in town... These young ladies are talking to women that are 15 yrs older than they are to understand that common mistakes and errors most women make at there age. these young ladies, I learned after completing the survey of very intrusive questions, I found out in the end are trying to avoid being thirty-six year old, single mothers, that have never been married. (no jokes, I felt a hint of crap'ola, I did and its really hard to make me feel bad about self because of all the hardships Ive overcome just the be alive and smiling) They are trying to find a common thread of errors to avoid so that they don't end up like me. Yeah, what a kick in the face, I was put on the spot... having to comfort the things that I did, wanted to do, never got a chance to do, grieved and accept the things that may never happen for me. In all that I found that my Life mantra has been in my DNA all this time and even though I wasnt verbalizing it in the past as I am now its always been true for me..."what works for you may not work for me" How do we find out what works for us? I have had some of the best relationships, each one has taught me something, each one has allowed me to grow, and eventually each individual overstood that Im not like the rest, am trully unique. I remember a friend telling me while we were in the relationship that, "I would one day have to let someone love me" as if I hadnt been up until that point. What I learned was that, he was telling me I was unconditonal with my love but when it came to him being unconditional with his love I wasnt having it...I wanted people to love me the way that I love them and that is not that way that it works. A lesson learned, now I sit back and let people figure out my love language even though I have the hardest to figure out. So most people are surprised because they think I'm a KIM K when trully I'm a Jackie O.
Perhaps, One day my visions will come together and I'll be able to see the big picture as it was given. Until then, I'll continue getting on the entrance ramp doing 60, switching lanes doing 75, bending those curves doing 90 until the ONE that didnt get car sick is still sitting in the passenger seat when I pull over to let him drive...In the meantime, remember you can't get on the highway doing 45 and the speed limit is 70!
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