Standing in the WAKE of an Exodus...
I thought for a moment about shedding a tear today, just as I was thinking about releasing that tear. I thought about a story my Granny told me not even a few months before she passed "when you cry, make sure not to wipe your tears, allow them to fall so that the angels can catch them, take them back to heaven and share your story with the Gods." In that moment, I remembered how that same tear has already been shed my women of color long before I was born, while I have been living and even today, as I sit here typing out these thoughts, I am crying inside! I am yelling at the top of my lungs, I am punching my bean bag, I am lifting my body weight, hoping that my anger and frustration doesn't cause me to forget what I came to say...
I am a woman, Born and Raised in Birmingham, Alabama, BOMBingham, The Magic City...I have been tasked with raising a Black Man, although I am single, I am not alone in this journey. I have been gifted with the Blessing of Strong Men in my Life and yet I still find that my tough love speeches, self-awareness practices, and love tactics practices daily may never be enough for this young man. So, I have learned to teach him through experience because I know a thing or two about RACISM.
When I was 12, I watched a Black Police Officer, watch a White Police Officer beat the crap out of a teenage boy because he spoke up for his friend being beaten by another Black police officer. When I was 13, I watched the police drag a Man out of his house in front of his kids and wife, saying they were "serving a warrant" come to find out they were at the wrong house. When I was 14, I saw a white police officer shoot a kid in the back in Gate City, the incident was cited as the kid was resisting arrest, when actually he'd been in my backyard playing basketball with the rest of the neighborhood kids. When I was 15, I was with a friend when he was snatched out of his car, searched and smacked around on Montevallo Rd. by the District police. When I was 17, I was on my way home from a party at the Botanical Gardens, coming the back way through Mt. Brook, I was pulled over by two officers, asking "what was I doing in this neighborhood", when I explained that I was on my way home, they then asked if I thought they were stupid, "Niggas don't live on this side of town" I then pulled out my license, holding it just right so that the flashlight was no longer in my eyes, but I could see the officers face when he saw that my street address and zip code was just two blocks away...I remember that night on days like this. I remember the look on the White officers face when he handed me my license attempting an half ass "be safe out on these streets you know criminals be out at this time" I remember thinking how much I dislike Police Officers and their lack of regard for humans but mostly I remember how I felt. I remember what I feels like to be demean by insecure hateful people who wouldn't know real love, if she were a naked lady laying with her legs and lips spread waiting to be mounted. I felt like maybe I should have gone the long way home that night and that regardless of where I grew up, nor what church I attend, nor how I attempt to not offend or step on peoples toes, at the end of every day...MY SKIN COLOR OFFENDS, I am just another Nigga, to these RACIST ASS CHURCH GOERS... I am just another slave in this systematic Corporation of AmeriKKKa, I do not matter, I am just another means, a line of credit, indebted to a system that wasn't set up to protect me nor anyone that looks like me. I am just another Number.
I thought about shedding a tear today, I thought maybe if I could cry for the Browns, then I could cry for the Martins, or maybe I could cry for the Smiley's, or maybe even cry for the Curry's.
I thought about shedding a tear today, for the Render's, the Sanford's, the Davis's or even shed a tear for the Sanchez's, but they don't deserve my tears because they were killed by a foolish black kid. Just another Nigga, they kill each other all time...So, when are we going to be outraged about that BS. When are we going to start bringing ourselves into accountability for the chaos that takes place within our own communities!
I thought about shedding a tear today but I'm not really sure who deserves my tears the most...
Who should I shed this tear for...Who am I fighting?
Should I cry for Mike Brown's Mother, who has to deal with the fact that one day she just may walk past her son's Killer in the local park or grocery store? Should I cry for Ms. Underwood, who has to visit her son in prison for the rest of her life and his; because he killed five people in one night with no regard!
When these tears hit the bottom of my cheek, what story do I need the GOD's in Heaven to prepare for, the organized Body of Christ strategically organizing a DIVESTMENT or should my tears be for the CHOKING of the people who are praying yet waiting for someone else to knock down the city walls with action!?
Who should I be organizing against, the GOVERNMENT that Protects WHITE POLICE OFFICERS, while leaving Black Police Officers out to Dry? or am I organizing against the depopulation of BLACK MEN within my Community!
C'mon Now, Help me Out!
I really need to Shed this tear, I just need to know which cause is GREATER?!?!?!?!
I am a woman, Born and Raised in Birmingham, Alabama, BOMBingham, The Magic City...I have been tasked with raising a Black Man, although I am single, I am not alone in this journey. I have been gifted with the Blessing of Strong Men in my Life and yet I still find that my tough love speeches, self-awareness practices, and love tactics practices daily may never be enough for this young man. So, I have learned to teach him through experience because I know a thing or two about RACISM.
When I was 12, I watched a Black Police Officer, watch a White Police Officer beat the crap out of a teenage boy because he spoke up for his friend being beaten by another Black police officer. When I was 13, I watched the police drag a Man out of his house in front of his kids and wife, saying they were "serving a warrant" come to find out they were at the wrong house. When I was 14, I saw a white police officer shoot a kid in the back in Gate City, the incident was cited as the kid was resisting arrest, when actually he'd been in my backyard playing basketball with the rest of the neighborhood kids. When I was 15, I was with a friend when he was snatched out of his car, searched and smacked around on Montevallo Rd. by the District police. When I was 17, I was on my way home from a party at the Botanical Gardens, coming the back way through Mt. Brook, I was pulled over by two officers, asking "what was I doing in this neighborhood", when I explained that I was on my way home, they then asked if I thought they were stupid, "Niggas don't live on this side of town" I then pulled out my license, holding it just right so that the flashlight was no longer in my eyes, but I could see the officers face when he saw that my street address and zip code was just two blocks away...I remember that night on days like this. I remember the look on the White officers face when he handed me my license attempting an half ass "be safe out on these streets you know criminals be out at this time" I remember thinking how much I dislike Police Officers and their lack of regard for humans but mostly I remember how I felt. I remember what I feels like to be demean by insecure hateful people who wouldn't know real love, if she were a naked lady laying with her legs and lips spread waiting to be mounted. I felt like maybe I should have gone the long way home that night and that regardless of where I grew up, nor what church I attend, nor how I attempt to not offend or step on peoples toes, at the end of every day...MY SKIN COLOR OFFENDS, I am just another Nigga, to these RACIST ASS CHURCH GOERS... I am just another slave in this systematic Corporation of AmeriKKKa, I do not matter, I am just another means, a line of credit, indebted to a system that wasn't set up to protect me nor anyone that looks like me. I am just another Number.
I thought about shedding a tear today, I thought maybe if I could cry for the Browns, then I could cry for the Martins, or maybe I could cry for the Smiley's, or maybe even cry for the Curry's.
I thought about shedding a tear today, for the Render's, the Sanford's, the Davis's or even shed a tear for the Sanchez's, but they don't deserve my tears because they were killed by a foolish black kid. Just another Nigga, they kill each other all time...So, when are we going to be outraged about that BS. When are we going to start bringing ourselves into accountability for the chaos that takes place within our own communities!
I thought about shedding a tear today but I'm not really sure who deserves my tears the most...
Who should I shed this tear for...Who am I fighting?
Should I cry for Mike Brown's Mother, who has to deal with the fact that one day she just may walk past her son's Killer in the local park or grocery store? Should I cry for Ms. Underwood, who has to visit her son in prison for the rest of her life and his; because he killed five people in one night with no regard!
When these tears hit the bottom of my cheek, what story do I need the GOD's in Heaven to prepare for, the organized Body of Christ strategically organizing a DIVESTMENT or should my tears be for the CHOKING of the people who are praying yet waiting for someone else to knock down the city walls with action!?
Who should I be organizing against, the GOVERNMENT that Protects WHITE POLICE OFFICERS, while leaving Black Police Officers out to Dry? or am I organizing against the depopulation of BLACK MEN within my Community!
C'mon Now, Help me Out!
I really need to Shed this tear, I just need to know which cause is GREATER?!?!?!?!
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