Starting Over
I find myself fascinated daily.
I know, I know...Daily ma'am! Daily!
I know I'm way to old to still be surprised and overwhelmed by people but I am.
I've learned a bunch about myself, since this last incident. For example, I struggle with getting my weight down, but I also understand that in order to lose weight, I have to do more than change my eating habits and lift weights.
I haven't been going out because it really is hard to find yourself in the midst of genuine company but the more and more I step out, the more I am surprised that yes, there are people who go on international trips by themselves. There are people who "Netflix and Chill" long before these millennials thought of giving it a name. There are people who find going to an art gallery a reason to dress up. There are those people.
finding those people mean you have to be vibrating on your truest frequency. Are you authentic?!
Not mimic, but are you actually the person you are posting to be because if you are, then you are receiving what you send out!
Today, I found myself in the company of a stranger/friend that I hadn't seen in months, well since the classical concert in November or October....I can't remember. I always enjoy her company because she like me, is building her company, reconnecting her brand to the most authentic of her being. She is in the process of branding the company and re branding herself. Me, I am in the process of starting over, in which I mentioned to her. of course her reply was,
"Well you can't start over without posting and letting people know where you are, what you are doing?"
I take breaks... from everything, I know I shouldn't because I am a writer, but I do.
I process everything, now. I am challenging myself to be the most authentic I can and sometimes, I just don't believe what I used to believe and although, I don't really know what is collectively true, right or wrong as some would say. I know what is right for me.
I love the energy I receive from interacting with people. I am charged and inspired when ever I can get into social settings. But, My circle my very small of created family inspires me to push myself even when my mind doesn't want to go, even when my physical is at a breaking, they inspire to jump.
Yesterday, I sat with a 92 year old, she is something else really a hand full, I enjoyed that short time i spent with her she was happy and offering praise to the most high god, not that traditional crap you hear from people all the time. "I'm blessed"
*Why, do people say that like you aren't?! We are all Blessed yes some of us wearing our blessings as actions not words but that doesn't make us any different*
Anyhoo, this sweet little old lady was alert, aware, just barely getting around but she was moving, it hit me like a lightning bolt. I thought about crying but I know this old lady would have flipped out if she saw me crying, I would look like a crazy person. So I held it in...I didn't want her to know that watching her move around by herself at that age made me happy. I didn't want to tell her that I have been living in a self imposed bubble, hiding from people I should smash. I didn't want her to know that I want to live to see that age and If not, longer enough to be able to see my kids have kids and possible their kids have kids. But, I did give her a kiss on the cheek when I was leaving because, she deserved a kiss.
I don't know what tomorrow holds but for Today, I will Live. Not like it is my last but like I am honored to have this offering of attack.
So Today, I started over.
I started my day with Tea instead of coffee, I did get a half cup of coffee, hazelnut creamer no sugar around 10:45am but not like yesterday, when after I drunk my two bottle waters, I drunk coffee.
I started my day with a smile during meditation, do you know how hard it is to maintain a smile the entire time, I am working my way back up to 30 minutes but for now the 15 minutes and the thoughts and images that run through my head are really enough for me.
I started my day with gratitude, not like all the other mornings but a general understanding that I have an opportunity to start over. And that is exactly what I plan to do!
Oh yeah, by the way, my friend/stranger that I shared Lunch with is a Chef, a Culinary Artist, do my solid... go over and check out her site, hit her up, www.notjustcatering.com
Tell her I sent you, maybe she'll share some of that chili she been talking bout!
I know, I know...Daily ma'am! Daily!
I know I'm way to old to still be surprised and overwhelmed by people but I am.
I've learned a bunch about myself, since this last incident. For example, I struggle with getting my weight down, but I also understand that in order to lose weight, I have to do more than change my eating habits and lift weights.
I haven't been going out because it really is hard to find yourself in the midst of genuine company but the more and more I step out, the more I am surprised that yes, there are people who go on international trips by themselves. There are people who "Netflix and Chill" long before these millennials thought of giving it a name. There are people who find going to an art gallery a reason to dress up. There are those people.
finding those people mean you have to be vibrating on your truest frequency. Are you authentic?!
Not mimic, but are you actually the person you are posting to be because if you are, then you are receiving what you send out!
Today, I found myself in the company of a stranger/friend that I hadn't seen in months, well since the classical concert in November or October....I can't remember. I always enjoy her company because she like me, is building her company, reconnecting her brand to the most authentic of her being. She is in the process of branding the company and re branding herself. Me, I am in the process of starting over, in which I mentioned to her. of course her reply was,
"Well you can't start over without posting and letting people know where you are, what you are doing?"
I take breaks... from everything, I know I shouldn't because I am a writer, but I do.
I process everything, now. I am challenging myself to be the most authentic I can and sometimes, I just don't believe what I used to believe and although, I don't really know what is collectively true, right or wrong as some would say. I know what is right for me.
I love the energy I receive from interacting with people. I am charged and inspired when ever I can get into social settings. But, My circle my very small of created family inspires me to push myself even when my mind doesn't want to go, even when my physical is at a breaking, they inspire to jump.
Yesterday, I sat with a 92 year old, she is something else really a hand full, I enjoyed that short time i spent with her she was happy and offering praise to the most high god, not that traditional crap you hear from people all the time. "I'm blessed"
*Why, do people say that like you aren't?! We are all Blessed yes some of us wearing our blessings as actions not words but that doesn't make us any different*
Anyhoo, this sweet little old lady was alert, aware, just barely getting around but she was moving, it hit me like a lightning bolt. I thought about crying but I know this old lady would have flipped out if she saw me crying, I would look like a crazy person. So I held it in...I didn't want her to know that watching her move around by herself at that age made me happy. I didn't want to tell her that I have been living in a self imposed bubble, hiding from people I should smash. I didn't want her to know that I want to live to see that age and If not, longer enough to be able to see my kids have kids and possible their kids have kids. But, I did give her a kiss on the cheek when I was leaving because, she deserved a kiss.
I don't know what tomorrow holds but for Today, I will Live. Not like it is my last but like I am honored to have this offering of attack.
So Today, I started over.
I started my day with Tea instead of coffee, I did get a half cup of coffee, hazelnut creamer no sugar around 10:45am but not like yesterday, when after I drunk my two bottle waters, I drunk coffee.
I started my day with a smile during meditation, do you know how hard it is to maintain a smile the entire time, I am working my way back up to 30 minutes but for now the 15 minutes and the thoughts and images that run through my head are really enough for me.
I started my day with gratitude, not like all the other mornings but a general understanding that I have an opportunity to start over. And that is exactly what I plan to do!
Oh yeah, by the way, my friend/stranger that I shared Lunch with is a Chef, a Culinary Artist, do my solid... go over and check out her site, hit her up, www.notjustcatering.com
Tell her I sent you, maybe she'll share some of that chili she been talking bout!
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